Tonight, I feel like an “old man”. I am not sure why, but I do. I am 65 years old and tonight, I feel every bit of that, and maybe even a little older. Maybe it is partially due to the fact that keeping a seven-year-old entertained and needs met can be exhausting. At the same time, one of the benefits of raising a vivacious seven-year-old is that I get the opportunity to “play” a lot. I would say that playing keeps me “young”. I actually still enjoy building things out of Legos. There are many days when I feel much younger than 65. Tonight’s experience of feeling “old”, reminded me of how much of a paradoxical experience raising a grandchild can be. We often fluctuate between experiences and emotions.
Tonight, there were moments when I might be called, a little “Grumpy”. I do experience many moments of grumpiness and I experience many moments of “Joy” and “Excitement”. I can experience moments of loss and grief, related to what I would like to be doing at this age and stage of life. And then, I experience moments through the eyes of an inquisitive seven-year-old who very often throughout the day approaches me with, “Pops I have a question”. Sometimes I have a good answer and feel very smart, and sometimes, I have no clue, and not so smart. I really don’t know “how many cars are there in the whole word?” I love Sebellah’s questions, and they do keep my mind wondering as well.
So, the truth is, “I am a Young/Old man, and I am a Grump/Joyful man”, whose life is truly blessed daily through the eyes and inquisitive mind of a precious seven-year-old. I have for long said, “Maturity is accepting life’s Paradoxes!” I will choose to accept paradoxes that come with raising a grandchild.
Sharing the Journey,