Finding Our Rhythm

Day 5 was a very good day for Sebellah and I.  We got a bit of a late start from Amarillo but the trip to Oklahoma City went very smoothly and was the most enjoyable of our 4 days of traveling.  I believe that we are finding our own rhythm and are both making the necessary adjustments to make the journey more enjoyable.  I was very proud of Sebellah today.  We did set up my laptop so that she could watch some of her favorite shows.  She did watch for the first hour and a half, but then the rest of the journey today, she played with her travel toys.  We have also had fun singing songs, commenting on what we see out our motorhome windows and just being silly together.  Once we got to our destination, Mustang Ranch RV Park, we had fun playing in the pool.  Then we had a Skype session with “Lolli”, Norah, Leash and Jake.  Allene was visiting her son and his family.

I think that “finding your rhythm” is an important principle in the overall process of raising a grandchild.  The old rhythm of your life as you knew is not applicable and will not work for the life situation that you currently find yourself in.  Accepting that reality is an important aspect.  Before you can develop your new rhythm, you must first accept that the old no longer applies.  I facilitated a grief recovery group for six years.  One of the principles that we talked about was that before you could discover the new world that a grieving person found themselves in, they had to accept that the world as they knew it, no longer exists.  It is similar with grandparents raising a grandchild.  Your world changed forever, the day that you accepted the responsibility for your grandchild.  Accepting the grief that we experience about the life that we no longer have, allows you to move forward toward the life that you and your family can experience.  Finding your new rhythm is about making adjustments that meets the needs of both your grandchild or grandchildren, and yourselves as grandparents.

Another lesson from the road is that the overall journey can feel overwhelming, but focusing on the day trips makes it doable and enjoyable.  I remember leaving the Prescott Costco parking lot feeling a little overwhelmed and some fear about what I was embarking on.  Once we got started and I started simply focusing on one day at a time and the destination for that day only, the feeling of fear and overwhelm, subsided.  We are truly enjoying the journey more each day.  I think that this principle applies to our overall experience as grandparents raising grandchildren.  In the beginning, it feels very overwhelming but focusing on the present and the next milestone to be accomplished, can make it much more manageable.

So, that was day 5.  Looking forward to day 6.

Sharing the Journey,

Rich, “Pops”

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I have been involved in the field of Human Services for 30 plus years. I teach in the field of Human Services for Purdue University Global. Allene is a stay at home "Lolli", after spending many years in the Healthcare field. We have 3 adult children and in May, 2018, we adopted our granddaughter, who is 6 years-old. We have had her since she was 5 months old. At the end of 2019, we moved to Mount Airy, North Carolina, as a part of a plan to downsize and give Allene the chance to retire, and be at home full-time. We are devoted to making a difference in Sebellah's life and also in the lives of other grandparents raising grandchildren.

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