Plan B

So much of the experience of raising a grandchild could fall under the category of “Plan B”.  “Plan A”, was to enjoy moving into the retirement years, being alone as a couple and being able to enjoy quiet relaxing evenings and weekends, travel and go out to dinner whenever we wanted to.  Well, that is not exactly what our life is like right now.

Last night is a good example of “Plan B”.  I was excited on Friday when Allene texted me that her boss, Angie, had volunteered to come babysit Sebellah Saturday night, so we could go out to dinner.  I was so appreciative of Angie’s offer, and Allene’s part in setting that up.  We decided that we wanted to try one of the new restaurants in town, that we had heard about.  There were two that we were interested in.  So, we researched both, and made our choice.  “Atmesfir” it was, a quaint little new restaurant in town.  We were both so excited and started looking forward to a night out.  Then, the rains came.  We are in the middle of monsoon season in Arizona and it rained very hard Saturday morning.  Angie texted that part of the facility was experiencing some flooding and that she need to oversee the taking care of that issue.  She was not sure that she could come babysit.  Although she offered to let us know by 5 pm, we decided to not wait, and let her know that we understood, and that we would cancel the plans.  We did understand, and yet, we were disappointed about not being able to go out for dinner.

It would have been easy to settle for “Plan C”.  What is “Plan C”, you ask.  “Plan C” is concession and complacency.  “Plan C” is giving up on your own plans and needs as adults.  We decided not to accept “Plan C”.  We fought to find a “Plan B”.  So, after exploring several options, we decided to go to the store and find a nice, yet, simple dinner and do a nice dinner at home, after “bedtime”, Sebellah’s bedtime.  So, we found a nice salmon pesto dinner at Costco, that you could just pop in the oven, and a kale shrimp past salad, baked sweet potato, zucchini and a nice bread for a nice dinner that was delicious.  The salmon was actually quite amazing.  Other than the fact that I did not realize that the pasta salad and the sweet potato constituted two starches, which Allene shared with me.  I guess I focused on the “salad” part of “pasta salad” more than the “pasta” part.  Other than that, it was an amazing dinner topped off with our favorite Tillamook ice cream, which in itself is amazing.  Overall, we had an awesome “Plan B” evening.

So, once again, it is important to fight for “Plan B” experiences, and not settle for “Plan C”.  Our needs as adults are important.  After all, not only does Sebellah need to survive and thrive in this experience.  Allene and I need to survive and thrive in this experience as well.  And, we are!  I believe that we are “thriving” much more during year 4, than we did through years, 1, 2 and 3.  We are much better at finding and fighting for those precious “Plan B” experiences.  “Viva La Plan B”!  Okay, so my french may not be very good, but you get the point.

Also, thanks Angie for the offer to babysit.  It was much appreciated.

Once again,

Sharing the Journey,

Rich, “Pops”

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I have been involved in the field of Human Services for 30 plus years. I teach in the field of Human Services for Purdue University Global. Allene is a stay at home "Lolli", after spending many years in the Healthcare field. We have 3 adult children and in May, 2018, we adopted our granddaughter, who is 6 years-old. We have had her since she was 5 months old. At the end of 2019, we moved to Mount Airy, North Carolina, as a part of a plan to downsize and give Allene the chance to retire, and be at home full-time. We are devoted to making a difference in Sebellah's life and also in the lives of other grandparents raising grandchildren.

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